Today I went to a wedding. Weddings are always exciting. This wedding was the sweetest wedding I've ever been to. One of my closest friends Gerry Ann Touchet became Mrs. Henry "Hank" Bates. She's been counting down the days since she got engaged on Christmas Eve this past year. And finally today was the day.
I waited in anticipation for the wedding to start. When the clock hit 2, Gerry-who'd been waiting almost 23 years- didn't have to wait any longer. I watched with tears in my eyes as she and Hank said their vows to one another. It was beautiful because I know their love story.
Gerry waited. She waited and trusted God to give his best. She put her heart in God's hands and allowed him to write a beautiful love story. And he did. Hank was her first real boyfriend. Her first "I love you." He was her soul mate. They were made for each other. Now they get to live happily ever after.
I'm so happy for my friend! I really am. But just being honest...I've had some jealous feelings here lately. I look around and see others falling in love, getting engaged, married, and starting families and sometimes I feel like God has left me out, and let me down. I've been at a place in my life where I can barely stand to watch any Halmark movies -which are my favorites!- Because can hardly stand to see someone fall in love...because it's not happening to me.
When these feelings of doubt, jealousy, and impatience creep in all I can do is take them to Jesus, be honest with him and tell him exactly how I feel. So many times I've tried to act perfect and spiritual before God by trying to hide what I'm really feeling. The truth is he already knows. He knows everything. He is acquainted with all my ways! He knows I'm human and that I'm not perfect.
Today I asked The Lord, "When will it be my turn?"
I wish I knew but I don't. It's not my turn yet, but everyday I get a little closer to my turn. I often feel like my life is on pause and I'm not going anywhere. I want to get on with my life but God wants me to be still and wait. So here I am waiting for my turn. I've waited. I've been waiting and I am still waiting. I'll keep on waiting until it is my turn. I can't trust my feelings and I can't believe the lies of the devil. God has a beautiful love story for me too! God is trying to teach me to be content with Him, by being still, and waiting.
Satan is not happy that I'm waiting. He tells me to give up. Settle. Waiting isn't worth it. But I've seen God write too many love stories to give up this far into the waiting game. I've waited 22 years and I'll wait as long as it takes.
If you also struggle with trusting and waiting here are a few verses that might be an encouragement to you.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him...-Psalms 37:7
O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. -Psalms 139:1-3
Be still, and know that I am God:
I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. -Psalms 46:10
