If God is for us, who can be against us?

I just want to remind myself and whoever else might need reminding that God is boss. You and I don't answer to anyone but to Him. I'm 22 years old and I recently had to deal with a bully. Yesterday I was told by another "Christian" that I wasn't biblically right to go on the mission trip I just went on. This person said "women aren't called to be missionaries, preachers or whatever". First I'd like to say, I'm not a preacher. None of the ladies on the WOTW team are preachers either and don't claim to be. Only men called of God can preach! We went to encourage and exhort...does the Bible not say in Hebrews 3:13 "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." Yes. Yes it does.

I prayed this wouldn't bring me down or discourage me but it kind of did. This situation involved a "Christian" who allowed the devil to use her to put a damper on what God just did in my life. I say to that...how sad? And "If God is for us who can be against us??" I am not ashamed of what God called me to do! I'm not ashamed and no one is going to make me feel ashamed!

I wanted so badly...more than anything to snap back, to say some very unkind words. But something in my heart was saying "be the bigger person, Megan". I am so thankful I have the Holy Spirit living inside me, guiding me and helping me to know the best decision to make! Sometimes to be the bigger person you must become smaller. You must keep quiet. You must not defend yourself. No one likes to be talked about, no one wants to be put down (especially when it involves serving God) but when (it will happen!) it happens we have the tool to overcome this opposition...prayer.

A simple prayer has the power to change a heart, change a mind and even change the world. He tells us in Matthew 5:44-->But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;. 

What if God allows persecution to enter our lives just so we can pray for the person persecuting us so in turn God can change their heart!? When I look at the situation in this light I see it very differently. God wants me to bring everything to him. He will fight my battles. He will win my battles. I have victory because of Jesus Christ. But I also am given the opportunity to show love to someone who is "despitefully using me"/"persecuting me" when I bow my head and lift their name up to God. So here I am trying to love my enemies, trying to bless those who are cursing me, do good to those who hate me, and pray for those who are hurting me. Proverbs 31:26 says, She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Sometimes the wisest thing to do is to keep your mouth shut...and pray.

This is my prayer. Lord, use my words to bless others and fill me with your wisdom. I want to speak kind words that encourages others. I don't want to make anyone feel the way I felt earlier this week. Help me to love those who stand against me. Give me a meek and quiet spirit, and a humble heart.

In Jesus name. Amen. 

I want to be used of God. Don't get in my way...if you do I'll just pray for you ;)

Whatever and Wherever

Words can't describe what has happened in my heart over the past few days. I've tried to figure it all out but I can't. I just can't. I think I might feel the way Mary felt after Jesus was born. All I can do is ponder all HE has done and hide it all in my heart! I'm the kind of girl who sits in the back of the classroom. I never ask questions. I try to be invisible. I keep my mouth shut because most of the time I feel like what I have to say isn't worth making others listen to. I have very low self esteem. I am a very nervous person! I am so fearful. I freak out about everything! I act strong but I'm good at hiding what I'm facing and what I am feeling. 

While in Nicaragua God changed me. The one big thing I begged him to do, He did. He changed me!  I've always wanted to fall in love. I thought it would be to one person, not to a country. But things don't always go the way we think they should. His ways are not our ways. 

One of the ladies on the team told me she thought I was very courageous. I laughed and said "why??" She opened her Bible and read a verse that tells us to "go" and she pointed at another that said not to fear. She said I was courageous by being willing to leave my family and "go". She said it took her many more years to get the courage to "go". I've never once thought of my self as a courageous individual. I've always thought I was the complete opposite. On our last night Mrs. Patti told us we were not "front porch ladies" but we were "frontier ladies".  I keep thinking about that. I've always wanted to be a go-getter. Someone who isn't afraid to do whatever needs to be done and go wherever the work is. But I've realized I am "courageous"...ONLY through Christ. His word says we can do ALL things through him! 

To be changed was my prayer for many months. I wanted so bad to be changed. I've been in a rut for a while and I needed God to do some major reviving in my life! My determination, motivation and focus was not what it needed to be. For the past 6 months I just couldn't keep my focus on The Lord. So much going on in my life but nothing going on between me and The Lord.

I thought me getting on the plane and 'going' would change me. I thought I would step off that plane and be a different person. I thought I would feel stronger. I thought I would have a sense of overwhelming peace. But when I stepped off the plane in Managua, I felt weak. I felt alone. And I felt scared. I started asking myself what I was doing there. How in the world could someone like me help these people?? How could I be a blessing? How and most of all WHY would God want to use me? I wanted to get back on the plane and fly back home. I wanted to run and hide. I missed my family. I really missed my comfort zone. The tiny place I've lived in for over 22 years. The place I felt safe. The place I didn't have to rely on God. That was my problem...I didn't know how to lean. I didn't know how to rely on his strength instead of my own. My whole life I've done things my way. But there I had to learn to let go. To lean. To become something I wasn't before I went. 

And I did. I gave him my weakness and he gave me power. I feel so different. I am nothing special but God let me be apart of a special assignment. I was a part of the "best team ever" as Mrs. Patti called us :) I wasn't the main speaker or anything like that. I did small things. Small jobs. Whatever I could do to help. I got to teach the children 3 times and share my testimony once. I can't wait to go back!!!

                                                Nicaragua WOTW Team 2015

Somewhere between getting off the plane and getting back on the plane yesterday morning to come home He changed me. I labored and I loved. I laughed and I cried. I loved people who spoke another language. I fell in love with so many kids even though all I know is 2 sentences in Spanish! (I took 3 years in high school and that's all I got out of it lol) how in the world does that even happen!? God. It's was just God. I opened my heart and love poured in and love poured out. I wanted to be a blessing but oh how he blessed me!

A few days before we left for the trip I had lost my excitement. I was very nervous and honestly I began doubting whether He wanted me to go. I know now it was just fear. But it crossed my mind about not going. Something inside of me was begging me to stay home. Oh how I love my comfort zone. But I just want tell everyone I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I went!!!! I'm so glad I obeyed and was willing to go. I learned so much. I grew so much! I got so many hugs and kisses from sweet ladies and children. I did have to give up some things in order to go, but what I received was sooo much more! 

I learned God is God even in the tiniest details. He cares about the smallest things just as much as the big. He has a perfect plan even for the tiniest stitch on the biggest blanket. I learned I need to pray about everything...the things we don't pray about are the things that God isn't Lord over in our lives. I learned it's very needful for us to have a vision. He wants us to dream.

Just a few months ago my dream was shattered. For a while I haven't wanted to dream. I've wanted to keep things small and simple in my head. I've been afraid to ask, to believe, to dream, because it hurts when things fall apart. But I'm ready. I'm ready to dream again. I'm ready to let God give me a vision. It can be big or small. Whatever he wants. I know he wants to make my life beautiful. He wants me to have a beautiful story. I want that too. That's why I'm letting him be the author. Whatever and wherever. ❤️