There were times when these different people didn't feel favoured. Today as 2016 comes to an end I'll be honest I don't feel very favoured. I kind of feel forgotten. I feel left out. I feel discouraged and disheartened. I shouldn't feel this way but I do. Just as year after year passed while Hannah waited and prayed and got no answer, so have the years passed for me. Still no answer. Each year it seems to get a little harder. But no one ever said waiting on God was easy. The most miraculous things come from the hardest struggles. The wait and the years can make a persons faith weak. But "when I am weak..then am I strong!" (2 Corinthians 12:10) Only through Christ can my faith be strengthened through the hard stuff. When I try to bare this burden alone it overwhelms me, pulls me way down, steals my joy and consumes my focus.
I recently started reading Wendy Pope's book, Wait and See, Finding Peace in God's Pauses and Plans..I haven't read much but I've already been convicted about my attitude towards God about making me wait. See I just said "MAKING me wait." He doesn't make me wait. A few months ago for the first time in my life I was perfectly content about waiting. I've always struggled with waiting for things. I've never admitted that I am impatient but I am beginning to think that word describes me perfectly. In 2017 I want to get back to being grateful that I "get to" wait. I want to get back to the peaceful place of contentment. I am praying for the Lord to 1. Empower me to WAIT WELL 2. Help me to be PRESENT IN THE PRESENT 3. Allow me to EXPERIENCE GOD IN MY DELAY (page 37,38 in book)
I am praying for favour with God. I am claiming 1 Samuel ch1 for myself. I'm praying God will remember me just as he remembered Hannah. My petition isn't the same as Hannah's but we serve the same God. He came through for her and I choose to believe he will come through for me too!
Time stands between was is and what will be. The hard part is the not knowing how much time the wait consists of. I look around and see many others experiencing the blessing I'm cry myself to sleep at night begging God to give me. I see people who did it the wrong way yet they have what I really want. But like I said above, my focus has been wrong. Isaiah 49: 18 says, "Lift up thine eyes.."
The truth is I AM favored. I'm no stranger to grace. Goodness and mercy have and continue to follow me each and everyday (Psalm 23:6). When I'm looking at what others have instead of all I already have I will not feel favored. I will not be content with my eyes on others. When we start down the path of dissatisfaction we will begin to believe our feelings. Once that begins we will start thinking our feelings are the only thing that really matters.
Lamentations 3:25,26 tell us the Lord is good to them who wait for him and it is good for us to wait. It sure doesn't feel good. Lately the idea of "waiting" has felt like a waste of time. But feelings usually fail us. My feelings have lied to me too many times. When I've let my feelings lead me they've always led me wrong. In January (2016) just a few days before I flew to Nicaragua for my second mission trip we were singing "living by faith" at church. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said "when are you going to walk by faith?". It's easy to walk by my feelings. It's even easier to listen to my fears and let them lead me. My fears are a lot louder than my faith but oh the peace there is when I let go and let Jesus lead me. Waiting on the Lord requires letting go and living by faith. Faith is content with not having all the answers.
As I look back over this year I see a roller coaster ride. Lots of high places but also some low times. 2016 started with a whole lot of tears. Literally the deepest valley I've ever faced. I remember going to the Potter's Place in Central laying on the floor sobbing not being able to breath because God wouldn't answer me, because he didn't give me what I thought I was suppose to have. I begged and begged and he wouldn't tell me "why?". For months I thought I deserved an answer to my question. Along the way I learned he's with me through the Ups and Downs of life and I do not have the right to demand answers from God. I remember when he showed me Psalm 147:3 {He healeth the broken in heart, he bindeth up their wounds.} For months I begged God to sew me back together and eventually he did. Time does heal wounds if we allow it to. I remember that July summer night when I let go of the past and my dream and told the Lord I wanted to live and not just exist. That night I told my heart to beat again. I accepted God's "No." I chose God's will over my own. It's been a few months since then and I've been hurt by another "No". It seems that's the only answer I ever get. But I trust my Jesus. He knows best for me. Elisabeth Elliott said God will only give us his best..no matter where I am He is giving me his very best. Today his best is singleness. I must accept that and learn to love what He blesses me with. I am favoured even in the midst of my wait. I am favoured even when I don't feel like it. He gives more grace! No matter my need, my desire, my brokenness, or my request He has more than enough grace for me. And the same goes for you. Hannah, Joseph, Mary, and Jabez are just a few people from the Bible who were favoured. These are the ones God brought to my mind as I've thought about this word today. He's no respecter of persons, so what he did for them He can and wants to do for us..we must learn to rest in Him and wait patiently for Him! Don't let your feelings, fears, trials, waiting season etc. consume you..Fretting over things does not give us any power over the trial. It only causes problems, doubt and further discontentment.
Like Hannah, you might be barren now but God will remember you when the time is right. Joseph was forgotten for years but when the time was right he was remembered and promoted to second in command under Pharoah. That expected end that only God knows will come to pass when it's the perfect time..Jeremiah 29:11 {For I know the thoughts that I think toward you saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.} Happy New year! You are favoured and He will remember you when it's time. Trust On in 2017! God's will WILL!
