HIS Purpose

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Some things that happen make no sense to me. Why do people have to get cancer? Why do we have to lose loved ones suddenly? Why do people break our hearts? Why does God make us wait? Why doesn't he answer that prayer you've prayed for over 10 years? I don't have the answer. 

But maybe the point is we aren't suppose to have all the answers. Life is hard, crazy, sad, insane, full of ups and downs, and so much more. So many things happen along this journey of life. Sometimes it's amazing things but sometimes it's things that break us. Things that make us question all we are and all we hope to one day be. There is peace in the fact that God has a time and place for all things. Although sometimes we don't really have room for those things in our life. I'll be honest some of those things I don't want him to put in my life! 

The key is believing. Believing he WILL; not that he can, but that he will work ALL things together for my good and your good (if you love him...if you aren't saved and don't love him this is not for you..) 

Life is suppose to be about HIS purpose. He is my creator and he has a purpose just for me. One step of faith at a time He reveals himself and his way to me. He doesn't give us the whole picture, just one pixel at a time. One open door at a time. 

I've needed this reminder that I don't have to have it all together. Sometimes I feel left out and behind. My wonderful mom reminded me this morning that I have a lot going for me and I'm doing just fine in this little thing called my life. God continues to make me wait. He continues to teach me that being still is all he wants me to do right now. But honestly that isn't what I want. I want to go, run, make things happen. But if I make my life about MY purpose my life will never amount to anything. The message at church yesterday morning was about the lad giving his lunch. The pastor compared that to a person's life. Like that little lunch my life isn't much. On my own I can't do much. But when I live according to HIS purpose and not mine my life has a purpose and my life will have God's hands on it. When I love him and live for his purpose everything will work out and it'll be good. Really good! 

Sometimes things happen that you had no part in making happen, things that just fall in place, and then before you know it, it's been ripped away from you leaving you asking "why God?" "Why did you let this happen?". Tonight I'm not gonna ask "Why?". I've done that more than enough times. I'm just gonna say "Ok Lord, I'll trust you anyways." He's trustworthy and he has a purpose and a beautiful plan. I must trust that his timing is perfect and he doesn't make any mistakes.

I'm still here!

Hey friends, Just realized I haven't written in a while. I'm still here! I've just been really busy. We've been enjoying spring! Hope you all have too.

 I got my braces taken off a few weeks ago...April 9th. That was really exciting! Here's a picture from that glad day🙌😊 it was a long (almost) 3 years but it was worth it :)

 

It was one of those things I thought would never happen! I literally prayed "please Lord let me get my braces off before you come back." I thought it was a never ending journey. That's the way I feel about many of my prayers and the things I'm waiting for. Im sure I'm not alone but it's like I pray and pray and wait and wait. And here I am still waiting. Still trying to hang on. Still trying to keep believing The Lord instead the lies my flesh, the world and devil tell me constantly. 

"God won't be faithful to you. He doesn't have anyone for you. You are not enough. No one likes you. She's just your friend because she feels sorry for you. You're a loser. You'll never make a difference. You're just not good enough. You're still ugly even without braces..." I could go on and on with the negative thoughts I've had about myself lately.

I'm just human. I lose my way sometimes. I forget who I am and whose I am. This is what happens when I think I can make it in my own without The Lord. I've been SO discouraged about my church. It's like no one cares. It's been so dry lately. We come and sit on the pew and it's like we say "bless me if you can" and then we go home like we came. I'll admit I've had that attitude before but I'm tired of it. Things have got to change. What happened to us trying to bless Jesus. That's what we are suppose to do right? I went to a youth rally Friday night and got some much needed help🙌 I thank The Lord for the reminder that there are still some young people trying to serve The Lord and live their lives to please him. I forget that sometimes and I feel like I'm all alone right where I am. I'm thankful God has rekindled the fire in my heart to keep on keepin' on.

For a few weeks the phrase from Genesis 45:24 "...See that ye fall not out by the way." Has ran through my mind. I've seen so many who have fallen, so many who have given up, who have quit on God. But I don't want to do that!! I dont to want to quit. I want to hang in there. I want to be victorious. I want to keep waiting so He can strengthen me and make me more like his dear Son! 

Sometimes I think He has forgotten about me. That's another lie I've believed. The Bible tells me He will never forget me. 

"Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."  He has not forgotten about me and I'm not going to forget about him and all he has done for me. I'm so thankful He never gives up on me!

So like I said above; I am still here. I'm still keeping the faith. Let's not give up or give in. Just keep leaning on Jesus. He will bring us through whatever we may be facing.❤️

If God is for us, who can be against us?

I just want to remind myself and whoever else might need reminding that God is boss. You and I don't answer to anyone but to Him. I'm 22 years old and I recently had to deal with a bully. Yesterday I was told by another "Christian" that I wasn't biblically right to go on the mission trip I just went on. This person said "women aren't called to be missionaries, preachers or whatever". First I'd like to say, I'm not a preacher. None of the ladies on the WOTW team are preachers either and don't claim to be. Only men called of God can preach! We went to encourage and exhort...does the Bible not say in Hebrews 3:13 "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." Yes. Yes it does.

I prayed this wouldn't bring me down or discourage me but it kind of did. This situation involved a "Christian" who allowed the devil to use her to put a damper on what God just did in my life. I say to that...how sad? And "If God is for us who can be against us??" I am not ashamed of what God called me to do! I'm not ashamed and no one is going to make me feel ashamed!

I wanted so badly...more than anything to snap back, to say some very unkind words. But something in my heart was saying "be the bigger person, Megan". I am so thankful I have the Holy Spirit living inside me, guiding me and helping me to know the best decision to make! Sometimes to be the bigger person you must become smaller. You must keep quiet. You must not defend yourself. No one likes to be talked about, no one wants to be put down (especially when it involves serving God) but when (it will happen!) it happens we have the tool to overcome this opposition...prayer.

A simple prayer has the power to change a heart, change a mind and even change the world. He tells us in Matthew 5:44-->But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;. 

What if God allows persecution to enter our lives just so we can pray for the person persecuting us so in turn God can change their heart!? When I look at the situation in this light I see it very differently. God wants me to bring everything to him. He will fight my battles. He will win my battles. I have victory because of Jesus Christ. But I also am given the opportunity to show love to someone who is "despitefully using me"/"persecuting me" when I bow my head and lift their name up to God. So here I am trying to love my enemies, trying to bless those who are cursing me, do good to those who hate me, and pray for those who are hurting me. Proverbs 31:26 says, She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Sometimes the wisest thing to do is to keep your mouth shut...and pray.

This is my prayer. Lord, use my words to bless others and fill me with your wisdom. I want to speak kind words that encourages others. I don't want to make anyone feel the way I felt earlier this week. Help me to love those who stand against me. Give me a meek and quiet spirit, and a humble heart.

In Jesus name. Amen. 

I want to be used of God. Don't get in my way...if you do I'll just pray for you ;)

Whatever and Wherever

Words can't describe what has happened in my heart over the past few days. I've tried to figure it all out but I can't. I just can't. I think I might feel the way Mary felt after Jesus was born. All I can do is ponder all HE has done and hide it all in my heart! I'm the kind of girl who sits in the back of the classroom. I never ask questions. I try to be invisible. I keep my mouth shut because most of the time I feel like what I have to say isn't worth making others listen to. I have very low self esteem. I am a very nervous person! I am so fearful. I freak out about everything! I act strong but I'm good at hiding what I'm facing and what I am feeling. 

While in Nicaragua God changed me. The one big thing I begged him to do, He did. He changed me!  I've always wanted to fall in love. I thought it would be to one person, not to a country. But things don't always go the way we think they should. His ways are not our ways. 

One of the ladies on the team told me she thought I was very courageous. I laughed and said "why??" She opened her Bible and read a verse that tells us to "go" and she pointed at another that said not to fear. She said I was courageous by being willing to leave my family and "go". She said it took her many more years to get the courage to "go". I've never once thought of my self as a courageous individual. I've always thought I was the complete opposite. On our last night Mrs. Patti told us we were not "front porch ladies" but we were "frontier ladies".  I keep thinking about that. I've always wanted to be a go-getter. Someone who isn't afraid to do whatever needs to be done and go wherever the work is. But I've realized I am "courageous"...ONLY through Christ. His word says we can do ALL things through him! 

To be changed was my prayer for many months. I wanted so bad to be changed. I've been in a rut for a while and I needed God to do some major reviving in my life! My determination, motivation and focus was not what it needed to be. For the past 6 months I just couldn't keep my focus on The Lord. So much going on in my life but nothing going on between me and The Lord.

I thought me getting on the plane and 'going' would change me. I thought I would step off that plane and be a different person. I thought I would feel stronger. I thought I would have a sense of overwhelming peace. But when I stepped off the plane in Managua, I felt weak. I felt alone. And I felt scared. I started asking myself what I was doing there. How in the world could someone like me help these people?? How could I be a blessing? How and most of all WHY would God want to use me? I wanted to get back on the plane and fly back home. I wanted to run and hide. I missed my family. I really missed my comfort zone. The tiny place I've lived in for over 22 years. The place I felt safe. The place I didn't have to rely on God. That was my problem...I didn't know how to lean. I didn't know how to rely on his strength instead of my own. My whole life I've done things my way. But there I had to learn to let go. To lean. To become something I wasn't before I went. 

And I did. I gave him my weakness and he gave me power. I feel so different. I am nothing special but God let me be apart of a special assignment. I was a part of the "best team ever" as Mrs. Patti called us :) I wasn't the main speaker or anything like that. I did small things. Small jobs. Whatever I could do to help. I got to teach the children 3 times and share my testimony once. I can't wait to go back!!!

                                                Nicaragua WOTW Team 2015

Somewhere between getting off the plane and getting back on the plane yesterday morning to come home He changed me. I labored and I loved. I laughed and I cried. I loved people who spoke another language. I fell in love with so many kids even though all I know is 2 sentences in Spanish! (I took 3 years in high school and that's all I got out of it lol) how in the world does that even happen!? God. It's was just God. I opened my heart and love poured in and love poured out. I wanted to be a blessing but oh how he blessed me!

A few days before we left for the trip I had lost my excitement. I was very nervous and honestly I began doubting whether He wanted me to go. I know now it was just fear. But it crossed my mind about not going. Something inside of me was begging me to stay home. Oh how I love my comfort zone. But I just want tell everyone I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I went!!!! I'm so glad I obeyed and was willing to go. I learned so much. I grew so much! I got so many hugs and kisses from sweet ladies and children. I did have to give up some things in order to go, but what I received was sooo much more! 

I learned God is God even in the tiniest details. He cares about the smallest things just as much as the big. He has a perfect plan even for the tiniest stitch on the biggest blanket. I learned I need to pray about everything...the things we don't pray about are the things that God isn't Lord over in our lives. I learned it's very needful for us to have a vision. He wants us to dream.

Just a few months ago my dream was shattered. For a while I haven't wanted to dream. I've wanted to keep things small and simple in my head. I've been afraid to ask, to believe, to dream, because it hurts when things fall apart. But I'm ready. I'm ready to dream again. I'm ready to let God give me a vision. It can be big or small. Whatever he wants. I know he wants to make my life beautiful. He wants me to have a beautiful story. I want that too. That's why I'm letting him be the author. Whatever and wherever. ❤️ 

Waiting for my turn

Today I went to a wedding. Weddings are always exciting. This wedding was the sweetest wedding I've ever been to. One of my closest friends Gerry Ann Touchet became Mrs. Henry "Hank" Bates. She's been counting down the days since she got engaged on Christmas Eve this past year. And finally today was the day. 

I waited in anticipation for the wedding to start. When the clock hit 2, Gerry-who'd been waiting almost 23 years- didn't have to wait any longer. I watched with tears in my eyes as she and Hank said their vows to one another. It was beautiful because I know their love story. 

Gerry waited. She waited and trusted God to give his best. She put her heart in God's hands and allowed him to write a beautiful love story. And he did. Hank was her first real boyfriend. Her first "I love you." He was her soul mate. They were made for each other. Now they get to live happily ever after. 

I'm so happy for my friend! I really am. But just being honest...I've had some jealous feelings here lately. I look around and see others falling in love, getting engaged, married, and starting families and sometimes I feel like God has left me out, and let me down. I've been at a place in my life where I can barely stand to watch any Halmark movies -which are my favorites!- Because can hardly stand to see someone fall in love...because it's not happening to me. 

When these feelings of doubt, jealousy, and impatience creep in all I can do is take them to Jesus, be honest with him and tell him exactly how I feel. So many times I've tried to act perfect and spiritual before God by trying to hide what I'm really feeling. The truth is he already knows. He knows everything. He is acquainted with all my ways! He knows I'm human and that I'm not perfect.

Today I asked The Lord, "When will it be my turn?"  

I wish I knew but I don't. It's not my turn yet, but everyday I get a little closer to my turn. I often feel like my life is on pause and I'm not going anywhere. I want to get on with my life but God wants me to be still and wait. So here I am waiting for my turn. I've waited. I've been waiting and I am still waiting. I'll keep on waiting until it is my turn. I can't trust my feelings and I can't believe the lies of the devil. God has a beautiful love story for me too! God is trying to teach me to be content with Him, by being still, and waiting.

Satan is not happy that I'm waiting. He tells me to give up. Settle. Waiting isn't worth it. But I've seen God write too many love stories to give up this far into the waiting game. I've waited 22 years and I'll wait as long as it takes.

If you also struggle with trusting and waiting here are a few verses that might be an encouragement to you.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him...-Psalms 37:7

O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. -Psalms 139:1-3

Be still, and know that I am God:

I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. -Psalms 46:10