Today I went to a wedding. Weddings are always exciting. This wedding was the sweetest wedding I've ever been to. One of my closest friends Gerry Ann Touchet became Mrs. Henry "Hank" Bates. She's been counting down the days since she got engaged on Christmas Eve this past year. And finally today was the day.
I waited in anticipation for the wedding to start. When the clock hit 2, Gerry-who'd been waiting almost 23 years- didn't have to wait any longer. I watched with tears in my eyes as she and Hank said their vows to one another. It was beautiful because I know their love story.
Gerry waited. She waited and trusted God to give his best. She put her heart in God's hands and allowed him to write a beautiful love story. And he did. Hank was her first real boyfriend. Her first "I love you." He was her soul mate. They were made for each other. Now they get to live happily ever after.
I'm so happy for my friend! I really am. But just being honest...I've had some jealous feelings here lately. I look around and see others falling in love, getting engaged, married, and starting families and sometimes I feel like God has left me out, and let me down. I've been at a place in my life where I can barely stand to watch any Halmark movies -which are my favorites!- Because can hardly stand to see someone fall in love...because it's not happening to me.
When these feelings of doubt, jealousy, and impatience creep in all I can do is take them to Jesus, be honest with him and tell him exactly how I feel. So many times I've tried to act perfect and spiritual before God by trying to hide what I'm really feeling. The truth is he already knows. He knows everything. He is acquainted with all my ways! He knows I'm human and that I'm not perfect.
Today I asked The Lord, "When will it be my turn?"
I wish I knew but I don't. It's not my turn yet, but everyday I get a little closer to my turn. I often feel like my life is on pause and I'm not going anywhere. I want to get on with my life but God wants me to be still and wait. So here I am waiting for my turn. I've waited. I've been waiting and I am still waiting. I'll keep on waiting until it is my turn. I can't trust my feelings and I can't believe the lies of the devil. God has a beautiful love story for me too! God is trying to teach me to be content with Him, by being still, and waiting.
Satan is not happy that I'm waiting. He tells me to give up. Settle. Waiting isn't worth it. But I've seen God write too many love stories to give up this far into the waiting game. I've waited 22 years and I'll wait as long as it takes.
If you also struggle with trusting and waiting here are a few verses that might be an encouragement to you.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him...-Psalms 37:7
O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. -Psalms 139:1-3
Be still, and know that I am God:
I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. -Psalms 46:10
If we are friends on FB or followers on Instagram you probably heard about what happened to our family early Saturday morning. My brother Josh has been out of town working nights for over 3 weeks. He is a vendor and works outages for Duke Energy. Friday morning he got home and went straight to bed. I had a rough Friday at work but I knew seeing him would make the day better! When I got home he was still sleeping. Finally a few hours later he got up. He wanted to go glow bowling with his friends. My mom told him she didn't want him to just because he had been gone and the weather was bad. He told her he would be fine and left for the bowling alley. Around midnight I was writing in my prayer journal and praying for him like I always do! I went to bed and an hour and a half later I hear my mom saying to my brother And sister that Josh had been in a wreck. I have no idea how I heard her considering I was fast asleep with my bedroom door shut. I sat up in bed. The first thing I remember was that I had been praying for him earlier. Oh how glad I was that I had prayed! My brother had called my mom and told her he was ok but his car had been totaled.
My mom and sister went to the scene of the accident. I was freaking out still lying in my bed. I began to cry and pray but I had peace that he would be ok. Just knowing he had called moma was a good sign!
The accident happened around 2:00 am Saturday morning. My brother was heading towards Easley (where we live) and was near the Central Walmart exit on 123. The speed limit is 65. I usually go around 75 when I am in this area. So when there are car wrecks they are always bad! I know many people who have died on that road. Josh was driving his 2004 Mazda RX8 (i called his car "drake the RX8" lol) and his friend was following him. On the other side of the road cars were flashing their lights so he thought there was a cop ahead. Next thing he knew he saw one dim head light coming right at him. He swerved thinking it was a moped. He was hit almost head on. The guy who hit him was so drunk he had no clue what he was doing. My brother's car spun around and he thought he was going to flip. Thankfully he did not flip!
My mom and sister went to the scene and they said they both began to cry because of how bad it looked! Pieces of the cars were at least 1/4th mile scattered down the road. We all knew God had intervened in this situation!! Josh was ok like he said but his chest was hurting so they took him in the ambulance to Greenville Hospital. My mom came and picked me up so I could go be with them.
A little while later they let us go back 2 at a time and see him. I'd never been in the trauma area at the hospital so it was all new to me. They had him laid out on a stretcher with just blankets on. He had IVs in his arms and looked pale. I couldn't help but smile seeing him alive and okay! Less than an hour later he was discharged. The lady who took his X-rays said this was a rare case. She said most people are taken up to ICU but not Josh. He didn't even have a scratch!! You can not tell me there isn't a God watching out for us!
Later Saturday night me, my mom and Josh went to clean out his car. All the air bags were deployed, the front left tire had came completely off. Again I was amazed at God's protection! The owner said Josh's car was the worst looking car on the lot. #butGod
A few weeks ago at church my pastor preached on being thankful in all things. I believe the Bible and I try my best to live by and follow it but somethings are just hard to do! He told about brother Andy Wells and his family went on vacation a few years ago and someone broke in their hotel room and stole all the money they had saved up for the trip. They were all upset. I know I would be too in a similar situation. God told him he was to be thankful in all things. Even though it was hard to do he began to pray "God i thank you for robbers and theives..." God turned it all out for good and they were blessed a few days later with the amount of money that had been stolen. they were able to give the money to someone who really needed it. I have been thinking about that story since I heard it. I prayed God would help me to be able to thank him for every thing. It's so easy to thank him when things go good. The hard part is thanking him for the bad, the hurt, and the hard things- those things we don't understand.
In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. -1 Thessalonians 5:18
This is hard to write because I know my brother could have and probably should have died. But I am thankful for drunk drivers. Yes I said that correctly. The Lord taught me and reminded me of a few things this weekend. Life doesn't make sense and the truth is it's not supposed to. Life isn't fair and it's not always easy. One of my friends sent me a text saying there was another wreck the same night and this person died. I am so amazed and thankful my brother got to live. I'm also thankful the guy who hit him got to live as well. When we heard it was a drunk driver that hit him we were mad! We were even madder when we found out he didn't have insurance. Now my brother has no car and a hospital bill all because this guy didn't have enough decency to call and get a ride. Or better yet he didn't have enough decency to not get drunk. Alcohol is never the answer. He chose to get behind the wheel completely drunk and drive...down the wrong side of the road. He endangered many people and could have killed my brother! Through this I realized how precious life is and how undeserving we are of the God who created all things to even care enough to protect my brother! I can't get over it. Every time I think about what God did that night I can't help but cry and say "thank you Lord". I don't understand why this had to happen but I know God knows best. Maybe just maybe, through this the guy who hit Josh might get saved and get his life cleaned up. I pray he does! Through this God showed me once again how real and caring he is! "His eye is on the sparrow so I know he watches over me." I was also reminded of how many people care about me and my family. Many, many texts, calls, comments on Facebook and private messages letting us know they were praying meant so much.
It is always difficult to forgive but when you know the person and love them it is easier. What's hard is when it's someone you've never met and they've hurt you or someone you love. That's when it's hard to forgive. But when we thank God it helps us be able to forgive and love. I'm reminded that God loves me even though I am the reason his Son came to die.
Life is short. Eternity is too soon and it is forever. Make sure you know Jesus and have repented of your sin so you don't have to face eternity separated from the God who loves you more than words can describe. No one knows how much time God will give us. Don't take the ones you love for granted. Forgive, forbear, love, live and let go and let God get you through whatever you might be facing. Get to where you can say thank you Lord. This is a way of saying, here Lord I give this hardship to you. We can lean on him and believe he will work it for our good. Just like he did for Joseph {but as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.-Genesis 50:20} because he had the faith to forgive his brothers he was given the opportunity (because of what they did to him) to save their families from the famine. God can turn your burden into a blessing for someone else if you allow him to.
So God, I thank you for drunk drivers...I thank you for your unseen hand. I thank you for being first on the scene. I thank you for those "But God" moments in my life! I thank you for the faith and courage to forgive. I thank you for another day with my family. I want to give you thanks in every thing because it is your will for my life!
This was our Easter family picture from yesterday. Josh is wearing the pink bow tie. Isn't God good!?
I am very close to my family. I love them more than anything else on this earth. Just the fact that we could been planning his funeral but we're not makes me so thankful! I seen a video on Facebook a few weeks ago about "the Unseen Hand". I was so amazed. You could see that God had intervened and protected these people. I was just talking about it the other day before the wreck. I am glad God did a miracle for my brother and for our family! God is good ALL the time and his plan is beautiful...we must believe that ❤
I have been doing a read through the Bible in a year program; right now I'm reading about the children of Israel as they journeyed along.
I noticed (like I always do when reading this part) how much they complain! It get on my nerves how they doubt God and turn from him so quickly and easily just because they are thirsty or hungry or whatever... Here I am complaining about their complaining :-) lol... Anyways this morning I was reading Numbers 21.
In verse 4 it says, And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom:and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way.
That "much discouraged" stood out to me! First let me say that just a few verses before this one they had prayed for victory in a battle and God gave it to them. There was "utter destruction" at Hormah that day. Despite the victory somehow they became discouraged. They were tired, doubtful and ready to give up. Did you notice that they walked along the side of the Red Sea...that's the same Sea that God parted for them so they could walk across on dry ground, the same sea where God killed all the Egyptians who were after them. The Sea they traveled across the night they were freed from the bondage they had in Egypt.
It says they were discouraged because of the way. It says in chapter 20 they wanted to pass through Edom but the people of Edom wouldn't allow them so they had to go a different way around.
We always want to take the easiest route. Be in the fast lane. Take the drive thru. We do not want to wait for anything. When we do we get upset. I know I would have been upset too if I were there. They had to turn around and go a completely different way. I'm sure it took twice as long if not longer. The bible says they were "much" discouraged. They forgot somethings... They got mad at God in the next verse. They blamed Moses. How often do we get mad at God and those who love us when things don't go OUR WAY?
If things aren't going the way you planned or the way you thought they would/should...ask yourself the next few questions.
How do we forget the blessings of God? How do we forget all the times he has provided? How do we forget all the times he has met the need? How do we forget his faithfulness? How do we forget that Jesus died for us?How do we forget all the times we have seen his glory? How do we forget all the victories he has given us? How do we forget that day he parted the Red Sea for us and we walked safely on the dry ground? How do we forget the "works of God" (Psalm 78:7)?
Psalms 103:2-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits:
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities;
who healeth all thy diseases;
Who redeemeth thy life from destruction;
who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things;
so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The truth is we forget. Just like the Israelites. We forget what God has done. We doubt God. We throw in the towel. We pout when things don't seem to go our way. We feel like God has forsaken us. All this happens because we put our eyes on the problem and not the problem solver.
If we're going to make it in this world we have to keep looking to God! Everytime I do things my way, I fall. Everytime I put my eyes on someone else they let me down. We should strive to follow God so closely that when the WAY changes we don't even notice. Just keep watching those footsteps in front of you. If you fall get back up. Stop forgetting and start reminding yourself...Jesus always cares and he is always there! Remember his ways are not our ways! (Is 55:8)
I painted this a few months ago...I'm so glad He works in ways we cannot see ❤ it might seem like a crazy way to you, but Gods way is always the best way!
Time seems to go so fast. This past year felt like a blur. A good blur but still a blur. When I was younger a year seemed like forever, now it feels like just a few days. Each year we end one and start another...life is slipping away. Once it's gone it can never be brought back. Hannah Montana (hahaaa) says, "life is what you make it" and I believe this year will be what I make it.
Each year we start with all these goals, hopes, desires and dreams of bettering ourselves in the new year. I start off good but quickly get lazy and give up. For 2013 our family's theme was "more of Him, less of me". As I look back over the year I can't truly say I got more of Jesus and less of myself everyday. That is the hard part about it...these hopes and goals have to be accomplished everyday. We have to work at it each day and that's hard. I wanted to give The Lord more but honestly I didn't give him what I should have. But inspire of my failures he is still good.
He blessed me so much in 2013!
In January 2013 I became head Sunday school teacher of the primary age class at church. I totally loved it. My mom was my assistant and I had fun working with her.
I got to be apart of POP (Power of Prayer camp) and I learned more about prayer and how to pray. That's one thing no one ever teaches...how to pray. Everyone says pray but no one tells us how. I, glad we got to learn more about praying.
I got to spend a few days with my friends at myrtle beach in may. We had a blast ever though it was freezing! First time road tripping with friends :)
I got my first ticket ever...driving a golf cart (without head lights and without my license) lol.
I turned 21 and became a legal adult (so weird to say). I can now own a gun!!!
I got to help at Junior camp again and loved seeing little 6-12 year old kids out praise us adults! I'm glad it doesn't matter how old you are, God can be as real to a 6 year old as he can a 60 year old!
I graduated from college! August 2nd and became an Expanded Duty Dental Assistant.
Passed all three of my certification tests and am now a DANB Certified Dental Assistant (CDA)
Got to have my pops from Oregon with us for sometime in July and August. So thankful he got to see me graduate from college just like he seen me graduate from high school.
I went on my First ever date! It was fun but I sure was nervous...
I started running this year and had a few rough patches but I haven't given up and I hope to reach my goal of a 10k this year!
I started inviting people to church and desiring to see God bring in the lost!
I got to be apart of the best revival I've ever been In at my church, Cannon Mountain Baptist church for 2 weeks in November. God moved in my heart and he let me worship him in a way I'd never worshiped before. It is amazing how God takes over when we yield to him. Yielding is so hard to do but once you start doing it, it seems so easy to let go and let God!
We had an amazing Christmas...I got sooo much more than I deserved!
Last night I was blessed to be at a watch night service from 6pm-about 1:30 am at Rainbow Baptist Church in Aberdeen, NC. I got to hear my Daddy preach like I've never heard him preach before. 21 years ago last night in the same pulpit he preached his first message.
The best blessing was another year with my family! We are all still here and I'm so thankful for that!
The biggest thing I see is he made me wait...he made me wait another year for my Boaz. I remember laying on my floor praying and crying 3 years ago thinking it was so hard to wait and I couldn't imagine waiting another day. Somehow I did and 3 years have passed! I didn't want to wait, and I still don't. But I know that waiting isn't as hard as I make it seem. I can't focus on that, I need to focus on growing in Jesus. I'm not ready for my Boaz and he is not ready for me yet. God is preparing us right now. Over the past few weeks many people I know have gotten engaged, married, and are now having babies and I honestly sometimes feel like a failure. If you would have asked me at 17 what my life would be like at 21 the answer would have been completely different than it is. My mom tells me often that at 21 she was already married with two kids and here I am still living at home and i cant even find a job. Waiting is hard and to top it off there aren't many "Boaz's" left. I have some guys who try to talk to me but I'm just not interested in any of them. Sometimes i feel like I'm gonna get whats "left" and not whats "right". But I know I can trust Jesus and he blesses those who wait for his best. So I'm gonna keep on keepin' on and wait for my Boaz in 2014.
In 2014 I'm looking for God to turn my "How into wow!" I know he will if I trust and obey. What I want from this new year is more patience, more power, and more peace...all from above. I am tired of the kiddie pool and im ready to go deeper with my Lord! I have some questions, fears, and doubts and I'm praying God will answer each and help me this year!
My verse for the year is: Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. I want to be wise when I speak and show love with my words...this is ooooh soooo hard for me! I speak and don't ever think how it might hurt someone or affect them in a negative way. God showed me this verse a few months ago and I can't get it out of my head. I want that verse to be me in 2014!
