Waiting ON The Lord

So something happened to me 7 months ago.. It wasn't a bad thing. It was a good thing. It was something I've waited my whole life for. It was really beautiful. It was more than I'd asked for. But the Lord took it away. It doesn't make any sense to me but I still trust Him. He is still God after all. He is the potter and I am the clay. 

Did you notice I said I waited? I waited.. I waited my whole life for THIS to happen. I've sought the Lord about THIS more than I've ever sought Him about anything! Since I was a little girl everyone always told me "Wait for Gods best", "Wait for the one". "It will be worth the wait." I believed them.

I'm not here to say that's wrong I'm just here to say I have bought the lie that if I wait for the ONE, if I wait for God's BEST HE WILL come. I'm here to say I don't believe that anymore..

Don't get me wrong I believe it's right to wait. I always have. Waiting is exactly what I've done.  Yesterday at work a patient came in and brought her 4 month old little girl. I looked at that baby and I thought to myself "why isn't God giving me what I want..what I've waited for?" I wondered if this girl had waited? She is around my age and already has 3 kids. All I've ever wanted was to get married and have cute babies. But God keeps making me wait. 

I've come to this conclusion..Life is like a roller coaster..one day everything is rising and you're smiling and it all feels so good, and then before you know it the coaster starts falling and you're not smiling anymore; you're crying your eyes out unsure about everything. I'm slowly learning I can let the fall stop me or I can let it cause me to seek the Lord more. I can get mad at God or I can fall more in love with Jesus. I can get bitter or I can get better. I can give up or I can grow. 

That's what I want. I want to grow. As I mentioned earlier I believe I've been waiting for the wrong thing. I've been waiting for the wrong reasons. Sometimes if we're honest with ourselves and God we see there are times in our lives when we stay with God to get from him..not because we want Him but we want something from Him.  

My pastor has been preaching out of Ruth on Wednesday nights. Last night the title was "I don't want the field, I want the MAN" from Ruth chapter 3. Ruth wasn't satisfied with the blessings..she wanted the Blesser. The field she got to serve in wasn't enough. The handfuls of purpose weren't enough. She wanted the man. And you know what she did? She went and got him. Ruth had purpose but she wanted more. She risked everything leaving Moab and going to Bethlehem-Judah with Naomi. She was an outcast. She never dreamed Boaz (a mighty man of wealth) would look her way. But he did. 

Let me back up a second..In Ruth 2:8 it says: Then said Boaz unto Ruth, Hearest thou not, my daughter? Go not to glean in another field, neither go from hence, but ABIDE here fast by my maidens. Abide means: to wait for, to dwell, to rest, to remain, to keep close, to cling. Boaz wanted Ruth to stay in his field. He pursued her when she got in his field. He noticed her before she ever even knew who he was. That's the same way it is with Jesus. He noticed me and he loved me before I knew him. He pursued me. He told me to abide with him. Boaz is a type of Christ. Boaz had claimed her and asked her to abide in his field. But this night she wanted to claim him. She was his handmaiden, but she wanted more. She wanted him to be hers. She got at his feet. She waited on him. She wasn't waiting for the handfuls of purpose, or the blessings Boaz freely gave, she was waiting on the man. 

I read this article the other day..it was called "To the girl who's tired of waiting". It was good! I even shared it on FB because it's true. I am tired of waiting. But really I'm just tired of waiting on the wrong things. 

What's the point of waiting to graduate, waiting to go on vacation, waiting to get married, waiting for ________? Whatever..you fill in the blank. After that day comes we just start waiting for something else to come. We are wishing and waiting our lives away by waiting on the wrong things.

God's way IS the waiting way. The Bible is full of verses telling us to wait, to be still, to rest, to be patient. He does want us to wait. But he is not saying wait on: the one, the best, the things that will only satisfy for a season..He longs for us to get to the place where we just want to wait ON Him and nothing else. 

Psalms 62:5

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

There it is..God is the only thing we should wait on. That word expectation means "thing that I long for". 

Psalm 27:14

Wait on The Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say on The Lord. 

The word "On" gives the meaning of nearness, closeness or contiguity (or touching). It means coming or falling back to the surface of anything, as rain falls on the earth. It means at or near. "On" is resting for support as to depend on, to rely on. Wait means: to rest in expectation and patience, to stay; not to depart, to be still.

Fall at His feet. Rest in his promises. Depend on his strong arms. Wait. Wait on THE man..the man who truly satisfies, who truly cares for you, who continually pursues you. Wait ON the man whose compassion for you never fails. I believe that's the way He wants us to wait.

That's my new desire. He took away what I've waited 23 years for. He shattered my dreams. Through THIS I have come to realize something I wish I would've realized a long time ago...Waiting ON God IS worth the wait. Waiting ON God is best. I don't want to wait on my turn anymore. (Waiting for my turn) I don't want to wait on a "Yes" or even a "No" from God. I don't want to wait on my future husband to arrive. I don't want to wait on this prayer to be answered or that prayer to be answered. I don't want to wait on anything or anyone but HIM. 

I'm done waiting on a man. I'm going to wait ON the MAN. I'm waiting ON God.

Friends I truly believe he's shown me this for a reason. Maybe you need to realize He just wants you to wait ON Him. I'm tired of trying to figure everything out in my head..being anxious about things I shouldn't even have my hands on. Let go. Stop holding on and wait. Wait on the Lord. You'll grow through this waiting. THIS waiting pleases The Lord. 

Happy New Year...Hello 2014!

Time seems to go so fast. This past year felt like a blur. A good blur but still a blur. When I was younger  a year seemed like forever, now it feels like just a few days. Each year we end one and start another...life is slipping away. Once it's gone it can never be brought back. Hannah Montana (hahaaa) says, "life is what you make it" and I believe this year will be what I make it. 

Each year we start with all these goals, hopes, desires and dreams of bettering ourselves in the new year. I start off good but quickly get lazy and give up. For 2013 our family's theme was "more of Him, less of me". As I look back over the year I can't truly say I got more of Jesus and less of myself everyday. That is the hard part about it...these hopes and goals have to be accomplished everyday. We have to work at it each day and that's hard. I wanted to give The Lord more but honestly I didn't give him what I should have. But inspire of my failures he is still good.

He blessed me so much in 2013!

 In January 2013 I became head Sunday school teacher of the primary age class at church. I totally loved it. My mom was my assistant and I had fun working with her. 

I got to be apart of POP (Power of Prayer camp) and I learned more about prayer and how to pray. That's one thing no one ever teaches...how to pray. Everyone says pray but no one tells us how. I, glad we got to learn more about praying. 

I got to spend a few days with my friends at myrtle beach in may. We had a blast ever though it was freezing! First time road tripping with friends :)

I got my first ticket ever...driving a golf cart (without head lights and without my license) lol. 

I turned 21 and became a legal adult (so weird to say). I can now own a gun!!! 

I got to help at Junior camp again and loved seeing little 6-12 year old kids out praise us adults! I'm glad it doesn't matter how old you are, God can be as real to a 6 year old as he can a 60 year old! 

I graduated from college! August 2nd and became an Expanded Duty Dental Assistant.

Passed all three of my certification tests and am now a DANB Certified Dental Assistant (CDA)

Got to have my pops from Oregon with us for sometime in July and August. So thankful he got to see me graduate from college just like he seen me graduate from high school. 

I went on my First ever date! It was fun but I sure was nervous...

I started running this year and had a few rough patches but I haven't given up and I hope to reach my goal of a 10k this year!

I started inviting people to church and desiring to see God bring in the lost! 

I got to be apart of the best revival I've ever been In at my church, Cannon Mountain Baptist church for 2 weeks in November. God moved in my heart and he let me worship him in a way I'd never worshiped before. It is amazing how God takes over when we yield to him. Yielding is so hard to do but once you start doing it, it seems so easy to let go and let God! 

We had an amazing Christmas...I got sooo much more than I deserved! 

Last night I was blessed to be at a watch night service from 6pm-about 1:30 am at Rainbow Baptist Church in Aberdeen, NC. I got to hear my Daddy preach like I've never heard him preach before. 21 years ago last night in the same pulpit he preached his first message. 

The best blessing was another year with my family! We are all still here and I'm so thankful for that!

The biggest thing I see is he made me wait...he made me wait another year for my Boaz. I remember laying on my floor praying and crying 3 years ago thinking it was so hard to wait and I couldn't imagine waiting another day. Somehow I did and 3 years have passed! I didn't want to wait, and I still don't. But I know that waiting isn't as hard as I make it seem. I can't focus on that, I need to focus on growing in Jesus. I'm not ready for my Boaz and he is not ready for me yet. God is preparing us right now. Over the past few weeks many people I know have gotten engaged, married, and are now having babies and I honestly sometimes feel like a failure. If you would have asked me at 17 what my life would be like at 21 the answer would have been completely different than it is. My mom tells me often that at 21 she was already married with two kids and here I am still living at home and i cant even find a job. Waiting is hard and to top it off there aren't many "Boaz's" left. I have some guys who try to talk to me but I'm just not interested in any of them. Sometimes i feel like I'm gonna get whats "left" and not whats "right". But I know I can trust Jesus and he blesses those who wait for his best. So I'm gonna keep on keepin' on and wait for my Boaz in 2014. 

In 2014 I'm looking for God to turn my "How into wow!" I know he will if I trust and obey. What I want from this new year is more patience, more power, and more peace...all from above. I am tired of the kiddie pool and im ready to go deeper with my Lord! I have some questions, fears, and doubts and I'm praying God will answer each and help me this year! 

My verse for the year is: Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  I want to be wise when I speak and show love with my words...this is ooooh soooo hard for me! I speak and don't ever think how it might hurt someone or affect them in a negative way. God showed me this verse a few months ago and I can't get it out of my head. I want that verse to be me in 2014!

Love,

May-may❤❤

How to: Delight yourself in The Lord

I wrote this a few weeks ago...

Psalm 37:4 is one of my favorite verses. It is only 16 small words but it says so much. Sunday morning the message was about why our prayers are not answered. My preacher mentioned this verse and he said we don't get our desires (or what we want) because we are not asking according to His will. I have tried a few times to study this verse out but I never searched hard enough until last night. I had my lovely Purple Bible that I normally use, and my Scofield Bible, a notebook and pen, and my IPad mini. My iPad has a strongs concordance Bible on it and I love it, I also have the dictionary on it. I got busy looking and God came and helped me :)

   

Here is what he showed me...

The bible tells us to 'delight thyself in the Lord' and 'he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.' That's pretty self explanatory but I had trouble figuring out how to delight in Him. Isaiah 58:13 tells us how.

There are a few different Hebrew words for delight but they come from the word anag (Is 58:14)which means: to be soft, or pliable, luxurious- delicate, have delight, sport self. 

   - that really didn't make sense to me but I kept on going.

***This is an If-Then statement*** therefore if one does verse13 then verse 14 will happen.

{Isaiah 58:13-14

Vs 13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath,

from doing thy pleasure on my holy day;

and call the sabbath a delight,

the holy of the Lord, honourable;

and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways,

nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

Vs14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord;

and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth,

and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father:

for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.}

If you want to delight yourself in The Lord you need to: STOP

1. Doing- your own ways

         To get the desires of your heart you must first stop doing it your way. Many times I have that "my way or the highway" mentality. We want Gods blessings but we want it the way we think it should be. This word doing has many meanings. Here are a few: do or make. Bear, bestow, be busy. Commit, deal (with), follow, go about, govern, hinder, hold, journey, keep, sacrifice, serve, set, shew, sin, spend, surely, work, yield, use, observe. We try so hard to get our desires on our own. Yet we expect God to give us whatever we want and when he doesn't we get mad and do it in our own. When you "do" you are in control; when you stop "doing" then you allow God to "do" what he wants. 

{Proverbs 3:6

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, 

and he shall direct thy paths.}

{Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways,

and my thoughts than your thoughts.}

         If you have never let go of your own dreams he wants you to. Go read my post on Plastic Pearls. His ways are soo much higher than ours. I can't comprehend what he has for me but I know it's much, much better than my way!

2. Finding- your own pleasure

         Our pleasure (or desire) should be His hand on our life! We must look to him for our desires. It's funny how what we want can change so fast. One day I'm so sure I want this or that and a week later I've already changed my mind. The truth is we don't know what we want. We constantly change but He never does. Find his will for your life, and that will will never change. Don't find your pleasure in the world. You will miss out on his blessings if you search on your own. Be careful what you seek for because what you seek you will find.  

         Your desires...do you only want it so you can please yourself?

3. Speaking- your own words

         I had a hard time with this one but I think he is saying be quiet. Stop running your mouth. Keep the sabbath. The sabbath symbolizes rest and worship. Worship him with your words and your silence. Be content with resting....or waiting. Sometimes God just wants us to stop and rest. When someone rests they are quiet and still. They are not afraid nor impatient. With my words I beg God to hurry up and give me the desire Of my heart...my Boaz. I want to meet him so bad! I want to get flowers for no reason, sweet texts in the mornings, laugh at his jokes (he better be funny!), not be single on valentines day anymore, be told 'I love you' and get a heart shaped engagement ring. I want to go wedding dress shopping. I want to have my small simple red, white, black and Tiffany blue wedding. I want to have my first kiss. I want to decorate our house for Christmas. I want to be a mom. 

{Psalms 37:7

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:

fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way...}

Sometimes what we want isn't necessarily bad but it's not the right time. So many times I think my life will be complete when I get my Boaz but I have to remind myself no one can complete me but Jesus. Other people down here can only complement a person. He won't give me what I want until I line up with what he wants. I must be "soft and pliable" in his hand. When He says "no" believe and know that he has a better "yes" for you down the road. He is the potter and I am just a little piece of clay. We think we can be, do, and say what we want because the world tells us we can. But get some perspective and realize you are nothing special, just a little piece of dirty clay. You will never be anything until God is your everything! Stop fighting, running and trying to do it on your own. You can't. But He can.

The last thing is to honor Him. We are not our own. We are bought with a price (a very high price). 

{1 Corinthians 6:20

For ye are bought with a price:therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.}

God made humans to use them to bring him honor and glory. Delighting in him is simply making him happy which in turn makes you happy. He really doesn't ask much of us. He wants us to read the Bible, talk to him, be faithful to church, and be a light to this dark world. Let Jesus make you happy. Stop and honor Christ. Like vs14 says He will lift you up and like ps37:4 says he'll give you the desires of your heart. Do your part,then he will do his.

"God doesn't exist for our pleasure and use. Just the opposite. We're made for God's pleasure, delight and use. He's the creator. We're the objects that were created...for his purposes."