"I can't quit when there's a fire burning in my bones..."

Another reason I haven't written in a while is because i honestly haven't felt like it. I have felt discouraged and like a failure for the Lord. He really helped me at camp but when I got back home it was like the devil just pushed me down. That's what he does best is knock us down and tell us we are nothing and will never be anything for the Lord.

That's what he's been telling me, and I've been listening to him. I fail him (the Lord). That's all i can say is I fail the Lord greatly everyday. For a few weeks I felt like..."what's the point? I can't do it. I just can't." But I am so glad God can and WANTS to change our attitude and heart when we feel worthless. I've felt like just giving up (and kinda still do) but something in me say's I can't. I think about first my brother's and my little sister and what they would think of me and how it would disappoint them. Next I think about the 8 girls in the GLAM class and then I thought about the 3 little boys in my sunday school class. They all matter! And God has allowed me to have a part in each of their lives for a reason..and i don't want to make a negative impact. What if one of them quits because i quit? I don't want that to happen. I want them all to know God is real and I want to do right so maybe one day they will too. I wonder alot if anyone ever looks up to me, if I am making a mark in life, If I am making a difference...i really don't know if I am, but If i am in any way I just want to make a good difference and make a good mark. If someone looks up to me I want it to be for because I am doing right! Our lives either point people to God or lead people away from God. I also thought about the Lord and how good he's been and how he has never once let me down! Something I've done but shouldn't have is look at people and not God...i've had some people let me down recently and that can be very disheartening! Although I might feel like giving up sometimes, I know it is way to hard to keep something as big as God hidden and act like he's not there.

Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. ~Jeremiah 20:9

Like I just said i've been struggling. I've felt like i am in between a rock and a hard place but God is always there and he knows how to help me out! I was driving home tonight and the Lord let me realize something that helped me alot. Even Adam and Eve who were perfect SINNED. God made them in his image which meant they were perfect yet Eve still sinned. They were like God, but they weren't God of course. They did not have sinful natures...they chose sin! I thought about that and I thought about how God still loved them the same amount as he did before they had sinned. Yes they were punished because we all reap what we sow but God still loved them the same! I on the other hand was born a sinner. Sinning is in my blood!!! i am a sinner. that's what i am. that's what we all are. Yet I am saved. But just because I'm saved doesn't mean I am perfect....I still sin. I still make mistakes. I still break his heart just as much now as I did before he saved me.I get so down on myself because I want to be perfect and not let him down!But I realized he understands when I mess up and he loves me nonetheless. God knows what I am...he kows I'm human; and humans are far far far from perfect! I beat myself up alot and feel like a failure because I let him down so much but God reminded me He doesn't drop us on the curb when we let him down. I am learning that God is sooo different than me! His ways are so different than mine. His thinking is the opposite of mine.(my fav verses--Isaiah 55:8,9 kjv) I pick the best. I want the very best I can get but I don't want to pay anything for it. God on the other hand picks the Worst he can find and paid the highest price that could be paid. He paid everything for something that was and still is nothing. He NEVER changes, never once has and never ever will. I am constantly changing. I don't know if anyone reading this will understand it but it makes sense to me lol He wanted me even in knowing all the times I'd fail him. His love is limitless and his forgiveness is infinite!!

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever.~Hebrews 13:8

Don't let the rotten devil discourage you like he has me. God is still the same God today as he was the day he saved you! He forgave you then and he promises he will forgive again. He never changes :)) We must get our eyes off others, our failures, our problems etc. and keep them on the Lord!

hope this wasn't a complete scattered mess lol just wanted to share how he helped me. 
~later alligator!

{i'm back from my *SOO-not-bummer-summer*}

I promise I have NOT quit my blog...just have been super busy! Like I just said, I have been so busy! I was gone for 2 weeks....on July 2-4 I helped at a church junior camp in Cleveland GA and then left there with the others who helped and took a short trip to Pigeon Forge TN the 4th through 6th. We went to Dollywood for 2 days. I had a blast! I had never been to Dollywood so it was cool finally getting to go. I love rollercoasters so that was about all we rode! We left TN on that friday night and went back to the campground and I went home on Saturday to get more clothes for the next week. Monday through Friday of the next week (July 9-13) I was at teen camp at the same place. And then I was just been being lazy lol went going to VBS at a friends church a few weeks ago. It was fun. I love those friends that you can just pick right back up where you left off...and it doens't even matter how long it's been since you've seen each other. :) The VSB theme was awesome!!! it was::: F.R.O.G.--{fully rely on God}.
I am so thankful for the privelege to have gotten to help at junior camp. I had never did anything like that so it was all new and I didn't know what to expect. and to top all that off I didn't know very many people so I was nervous for about a week before camp! I wasn't sure what I would be doing...helping with the food or be a counselor...I got to be an assistant counselor so i was happy. I helped a girl named Kristen try to control 10 hyper eleven year olds! For both of us it was our first year so we didn't quite know what to expect. I made alot of good memories in those 3 days!

Within the first few hours we had already had atleast 5 wasp stings!!! By the end of camp our room had like 11 wasp stings, a few ant bites, a lost tooth, and a few scrapes. Some of the girls even got stung twice! Everytime we would walk the ramp to our room the wasps would fly out and get us. One got me and it hurt! Other than that it was great!! lol Had a wonderful week at teen camp. The Lord helped me and I am so grateful for that! I am grateful for all the new friends I made at camp! I have been praying for some iron friends and God has been allowing me to make some :)) It has been so long since I last wrote I can't remember everything that has happened lol...

My awesome Daddy took us to Carowinds about 2 weeks ago and we had a blast!!! I LOVE that place! I finally got to ride the Intimidator and it was amazing...probably one of the best roller coasters I've ever rode. Then a few days later we went to Stone Mountain Georgia and spent a few hours at Stone Mountain Park. I had been there before but it was nice to go back again. That's about all the exciting stuff i did ;) Since then I have just been trying to get ready to start school in a few days.

First day back is August 20. I am very excited because I will be starting my dental assisting classes this semester. If all goes as planned I will GRADUATE next summer! My church is having a Children's revival all this week. Bill and Nancy Mason are putting it on. I remember going to the revivals when i was a little girl and i loved them. Tonight was the first night and it went pretty great. I am thankful I am getting to help. I randomly thought of a few other "exciting" things...I had my first roadkill the other day--> i hit a BUTTERFLY and it died. I felt pretty bad about it too! Next: I almost lost my arm yesterday coming home from church. My mom started rolling the window up while i had my arm hanging out. thank the Lord she heard my screams before it was completely rolled up LOL

What have we been doing in G.L.A.M.?? well we took the summer off and have been working on our Scripture journals each Tuesday night instead of listening to Reba's DVDs and working in our workbooks. I am totally loving my journal. it has helped me alot! Maybe I will get to post some pictures soon.

Also tomorrow is 2 months that i have had my braces!!! only 22 more to go lol ;) I am happy with the progress, just hate that my teeth still hurt me about everyday. also hate that i STILL have 3 huge gaps because my teeth are being stubborn and aren't wanting to grow in. prayin' they will soon! I have been fighting an annoying chest cough for over 3 weeks now. I am finally starting to get over it! Those times when i am sick sure make me grateful for when I am healthy!

I am glad to be back! And hope to start writing more again super soon <3

...

When are you going to be you?

So, how does my blog look?? I worked hard on it! and i like how it turned out. Still might make a few changes later. All the layout stuff is confusing! lol
We have been having a super fun week! Got to go to NC and spend 2 nights(last week) with my cousins!!! We were so happy to see them because we hadn't seen  them since last June. My brothers, sister and I have always been close to our cousins...it doesn't matter how long it's been since we've seen each other or talked we can always pick right back up where we left off. Wish we didn't live 4 hours from each other :( We traveled there because our great, great aunt JoAnn had a mild heart attack and was in the hospital. Thank the Lord she is doing better and was discharged Friday. My lil cousin Taylor aka Fluffy as my daddy calls her ;) came home with us. She has been here since Friday night. It has been very fun to have her with us.

 Tuesday nights=G.L.A.M. :)) We finished up Purity and started the next lesson: "1-3-9 The Perfect Combination." Not really sure what the 1-3-9 stuff means (?) lol. I wanted to write about something that it seems like today has been emphasised all day for me! Earlier today my mom asked my sister, "When are you going to be Manda?" and we watched a movie about being who you are not who your parents or the world tells you to be. And then we learned about being yourself at G.L.A.M.. I remember that saying that went around facebook forever (not sure where it came from though)...it was, "me get like you? no, you get like me." But the thing is no one should be "getting" like anyone else but their ownself! I remember in school when the teacher would say if everyone looked the same, the world would be such a boring place. I agree with that. It should be harder to be someone your not than it is to be yourself. Sadly, with the way it is today it is easier to be what your not than to be "you."

It is so easy to get caught up with what everyone else is doing, saying, or wearing. I think most people act in ways so others will accept them because deep down they have never truly accepted who they are. The world constantly screams that all girls need to be a size 2 to be beautiful and it yells that if we want to be accepted we must do what's "in" and if you are single, you are nothing. But none of that is true...

When you start being you, it won't matter what others might say. You are worth more than what you have or don't have, you are more! Don't let people degrade you when you stand out...that's called boldness,doing right with confidence and not caring what others think . You can't please everybody so you might as well please yourself and the Lord!

I love that new Nick movie called Rags...Charlie the main character tells Katie, "just be you." Just be you. Figure out who you are and do that not what the magazine says but what your heart says.

I am one of those people who have pretty much always stood out and never really fit in. It used to bother me a lot but I've realized i'm different and I am okay with that. God didn't make me (or you) to fit in. We are made as an original. You are an original and I am too. There will never be another Megan Rachelle Roberts. That makes me feel special knowing God made me one of a kind and it makes me smile knowing He is so mighty and powerful that he designs us ALL differently.
The Bible says, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."~Psalm 139:14 He made you the way you are!

We all have things we dislike about ourselves. I believe the Bible but sometimes when I look in the mirror i think "why did he make me this way?" I have horrible vision, messed up teeth (TY Lord for letting me get braces to correct that), I am self conscience about the way i talk and laugh (because certain ppl in my family constantly make fun of it but laughs are supposed to be funny? right!?)I don't like my eyebrows and I've always thought my hair color is dull and boring.I wish I was a little taller and weighed 20 pounds less than I do. About the only thing I actually like about myself is my eyes and my long eyelashes. I am just being honest...but when I think about those things He reminds me I am perfect in his eyes. God doesn't judge us because we have a bad hair day and he never makes fun of us when we walk around all day with food stuck in our teeth (lol) he loves us no matter what! Why do we try so hard to please everyone else when we should be giving our all to please HIM. He loves you and me no matter what! We are all beautiful in his sight :) I love that song Breakin' Ground sings...When I was at my worst, God was at his best. We are nothing yet he gave it all so we could be saved. Others might not think you are worth anything but Jesus sure does! He cares about you and He'll never stop caring.

I sometimes let the outside define me when the heart should be what defines me. I have Jesus in my heart and he is not something a person can hide from the world...he always finds a way to come out :) you can't hide someone as big as God in your heart! He will pour out and shine on the outside too. Let Jesus define you. Keep your eyes on the Savior and the way you look on the outside won't be as important.

Be "you"nique!!! Be who God made you to be. You will never be happy until you be the you he designed you to be. When are you going to be (place your name here)? :)
ps. please excuse any mis-spelled words...I am to sleepy to correct mistakes lol

blog under construction

hey yall, i am working on my layout and everything on my blog so it may look a little funny. I just worked for like an hour on changing it up and then i hit some button and everything I had done disappeared and now it is boring fonts and colors :(( hopefully within the next few days I will have it fixed