Dear Future Husband

Dear future husband, 

I am the one God made just for you...when I was fearfully and wonderfully made God had you on his mind. I was born on a June summer night to young but very in love parents. They kept me safe, taught me right and told me about Jesus. They showed me how a God orchestrated marriage should work. My daddy's genuine love for my mom over the years showed me how a man ought to treat his wife. He respects her. She respects him. They work as a team and have each other's back. I've seen their love grow stronger not weaker year after year. I grew up and as I got older I wondered where you were and who you are.

I've waited for you. 23 years and counting. I've kept myself pure. I'm saving it all for you. When all the girls had boyfriends in high school I had Jesus and he was enough! I'll be honest there's been many lonely nights where it didn't feel like Jesus was enough. Discontentment has too often filled my heart. But I've made it through with the Lords help. In January 2012 I finally surrendered my plastic pearls to the Lord. I got serious about waiting for you. I purposed in my heart that I would wait until YOU came. I remember lying on my bedroom floor crying my eyes out because I didn't want to wait. I didn't think I could but God gave me strength. I surrendered you to the Lord that night. It's been over 3 years since then and here I am still waiting. Many nights I've fell asleep begging God to send you to me. Many nights I've cried and prayed about you and for you. 

Around this time last year I had to face the fact that you may never come. My heart asked me the question, "would I still be faithful to God?" If I'm forever alone will I still keep waiting? I had to surrender that to the Lord. My heart broke as I laid you down on the altar. I'll never forget that night.

But just the belief that you are out there somewhere looking and waiting for me gives me strength to keep waiting for you. The belief that you are in God's perfect will, serving Him, pleasing Him. It does something to me. It gives me courage. Sometimes I wonder how many years you've been waiting. I wonder how many times God has told you no. He's told me no many times. Each time He reminds me, for every no there is a greater yes! One day we will be at the same place at the same time and God will say, "Yes!" I long for that wonderful day. 

I didn't choose waiting. Jesus chose it for me. Nobody likes to wait but these years have taught me so much. While I'm waiting I've learned I can grow.  I can't comprehend all I've learned in this season of waiting. All I've learned about life, myself, Jesus, love..it's been a beautiful journey. He's changing me. He's making me for you. He's growing me. He's making me what you need. I'm so thankful He continually works, molds, and makes. I'm the clay in His amazing hands. I've prayed for a life with God's fingerprints all over it. The hard times are making me look more like Him. I am a masterpiece..one He keeps making better and better! I know He's doing the same for you, that's why I know you will be absolutely amazing when I finally get to know who you are. 

I've also learned that I must let you pursue me. Just as the Holy Spirit pursues us. I can't chase you. I must wait for you to chase me. I pray often that you will have the courage to pursue me when it's that perfect time! Part of me wants to hunt you down but I know if you're the kind of man I'm praying you are that would completely turn you off. Society says "Go after what you want" but Naomi told Ruth "Sit still" (Ruth 3:18).  I've always wanted to marry a preacher. I want God's best and I know there's no higher calling than a man of God. So I know you are a preacher. We get what we settle for...So I will not settle for anything but God's best. You are the best.

 I read a blog yesterday that said God will always give us the best wherever we are! So for today his best is for me to be single. Elisabeth Elliot says singleness is a gift just like marriage is a gift. Let's enjoy the gift God has given us both. Singleness. It's not my favorite gift but it's what is best right now. Please know I pray for you daily. I've prayed to be your prayer warrior; you're cheerleader in the fight. God made me to be your helpmeet and that's what I want to be. I've prayed you'll press on whatever the cost might be. I don't know what you are facing but I'm over here praying for you. I don't even know who you are but I feel like you are facing something big. I can't do anything but I can pray. I pray you'll have a thankful heart. I pray you are humble (that is the MOST attractive quality EVER to me!) I pray you'll never lose the touch of God on your life. Nothing can compare to or replace His touch! 

Please know my heart longs for yours. You my love will be worth the wait! Don't you ever give up! Look up. Stay focused on Jesus. He's enough no matter what. He's on our side. He's working and bringing us together even now. Trust Him! I love you. I can't wait for the day I get to say those words out loud to you! 

With love,

Your future wife